So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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