his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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