If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
