i can't believe i had my finger in that
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
