the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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