I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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