If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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