I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
