I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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