I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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