There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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