Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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