it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
