Pants 0. Shit 1.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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