Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
