just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize