Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
