I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
