He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
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He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
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She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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