is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
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Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
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Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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