i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
did you just send me my own nude
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
