Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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