its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
bring money and cleavage
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
