Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
