Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
