In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
