You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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