I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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