i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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