Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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