Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
