You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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