i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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