who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
