Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
