dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
