Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
