Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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