so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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