I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize