im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
