If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
