I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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