i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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