The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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