god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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