you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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