you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
