just survived the first fart of the relationship.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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