She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
