You really coming over, don't trick.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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