i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
They are going to name an STD after you.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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