I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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