Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize