dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
