Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
