Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
