Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
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He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
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I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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