I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
