My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
