3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
