thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She even gives head with a lisp.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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