"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
