went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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