in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
